It's easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe. 2 days until dreams become reality. 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes The gloriously groan-worthy gags from 40 years of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I During his silent, solitary pre-show read-through in a dingy corner of the theatre, I would occasionally spot him scribbling notes when he discovered a typo or a grammatical error. The late Humphrey Lyttelton once wrote: As we journey through life, discarding baggage along the way, we should keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. I was aware, when I started Clue, that it was a case of: Wed better get some women on, but there was no sense of making me feel unwelcome or awkward. ", "Canterbury today is an interesting mix of traditional and modern buildings, due to the large number of bombs dropped during the last war. Aren't they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the. Here are some of the funnyman's most hysterically glum jokes: "I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs - like custom officers. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4, 11 April 1972 - ) is a British radio comedy programme which describes itself as "the antidote to panel games ". While the shows inventive innuendo is one of its great attractions for fans, the jokes are considered too rude or sexist for some. When Humphrey Lyttelton was alive, and I'd meet fans of Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and they discovered I wrote his scripts, the conversation would invariably . Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners In which the teams introduce the guests arriving at a society ball, this time from the construction industry: Will you welcome please, Mr and Mrs Cotter-Tiling and their son, Terry, And from Ireland, Mr and Mrs ODoors and their son, Paddy, Mr and Mrs Antilers and their son Rufus, Mr and Mrs Loadabricks and their son Laurie, Mr and Mrs Duz-Merchants and their son, Bill. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (BBC Radio 4, 11 April 1972- ) is a British radio comedy programme which describes itself as "the antidote to panel games". Yours etcetera, Dear Leonardo da Vinci, Scrub the sitting Ive got to go to the dentist. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (2008 TV Movie) Humphrey Lyttelton: Self - Host Showing all 17 items Jump to: Quotes (17) Quotes Humphrey Lyttelton : Incidentally, Colin's piano playing is widely believed by faith healers to hold miraculous powers. 20:57 EDT 23 Sep 2012 So Id rehearse it one key and then, in the recording, put it up a bit higher to throw him.. Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from one of BBC Radio 4's best-loved and most enduring comedy panel games. After Chairman Humph, we got Have I Got News for You, They Think It's All Over, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and countless other comedy panel games, where the chairman appears not to want to be there and isn't too fond of either his guests or the subject matter. Famed for his brand of fed-up, bone-dry humour, few comics have shown an ability, or willingness, to fume at the mundanity of modern-day life like the 57-year-old. Reaction to BBC Radio Comedy is incredibly subjective, but I'm afraid I found tonight's episode (kicking off a new run) pretty feeble. Jack Dee chairs the 77th series of the show. And then the Anthony Worrell-Thompson sausages. 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, do you know, not once has she come round to see if Im all right. The White Sox' catastrophic start to the season has all but eliminated the team's playoff hopes before the first month ", "Actually, we were all very impressed to learn that Colin once played alongside Roy Orbison. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", "While Samantha nips over to Prague for a quick check-up", "Before I nip out with Samantha for a time honoured blow on the seafront", "While Samantha and I nip out with my flexible friend to make a large withdrawal", "As Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out", "Samantha tells me she's expecting a visit from a film producer in her dressing room after the show. 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes Weve always tried to do the show, says Garden, as if there were quite a severe BBC censor still in existence and we were obliged to get in the dirty jokes through innuendo rather than saying the words directly. 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds Lazy cow hasnt even taken her milk in for a fortnight!, Try saying: Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like an Irish man swearing., One of my friends went on a murder weekend now he is doing life for it., A sewage farm. 02:49 EDT 24 Sep 2012. Then, Samantha says, she likes to watch as he rips the paper strips and wax off for her", "It just occurred to me that Samantha hasn't given us the scoressince 1981. "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. The five funniest games from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Hilarious, embarrassing, and bizarre challenges set by the chairman, Jack Dee. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office. After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. However, it wasn't until 1993 that she started becoming the butt of increasingly risque jokes. Actually, listeners will be impressed to learn that back in the 60's, Colin asked Mick Jagger and Keith Richard if he could take the place of Brian Jones. Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. 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", "Some experts believe that it might take its title from a town in Ireland, which is generally associated with meaningless nonsense. In fact, they no longer were my words. All rights reserved. RIP Tim. And at the Naturistss Ball, please welcome, if you will: Mr and Mrs Gleebits and their son, Dan, From Poland, Mr and Mrs Vestov and their very keen daughter, Eva, The Right Honorable Mr Knott-Snowing and his lovely daughter, Gladys. 30 of Jack Whitehalls funniest jokes 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable It was eventually announced that the show's 73rd series in Autumn 2020 would consist of Tim's final two episodes (recorded shortly before the nationwide lockdown), followed by four remotely recorded episodes with the surviving regulars and a virtual audience (categorized by the BBC as Series 74). ", "Actually, Colin was telling us before the show that he once toured Britain with The Monkees then Mr. Chipperfield promoted him to the elephants and gave him a bigger shovel. While being mocked by the others for his age and incompetence at trying to read a tricky retake, he stopped, gazed to the side for a moment, squinted, and asked: "Has the man in the end bed died?" Can you tell me where the expression 'Dull as Ditch Water' comes from? Apparently he has this dream of handling The Spice Girls. She says that she doesn't mind if they want to dicker about three times a week. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. Well loved celebrities include Alan Bennett and Barry Cryer. The comedian Jeremy Hardy has died, aged 57, leaving behind a legacy of formidable wit and humour. Love your butter., 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes Actually, we were interested to hear that Colin has recently been enjoying himself in the brass section. Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember Racing the express train from London, he won by a full eleven minutes. ", "Backing will be provided, as ever, by Colin Sell at the piano. mw963 Posts: 2,844. Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners All quotes are by Humphrey Lyttelton unless otherwise stated. ", "You join us again at the Everyman Theatre in Cheltenham, where we've attracted a capacity audience of some 700, odd people. Theosophy Aardvark :- Mrs Trellis of North Wales. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimers 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes ", "The city (Leeds) has connections with many famous people. She says he's looking forward to showing her Cardiff and Cardigan Bay, before going on to Bangor in the back of his van. Here, concluding our. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners Humph redefined the role of the comedy panel game chairman. Which we thought was incredibly unfair, as no one else had ever complained. ISIHAC NEWSLETTER. On 13 April 2002, during a round of Uxbridge English Dictionary in which new definitions are given to old words Stephen Fry offered: Countryside to kill Piers Morgan.. That went off. He had no future comedy career to worry about. They're going on a driving tour of Wales. It was like being at the golf club, she says. Fegan also relays that the club has . 72. 30 of Romesh Ranganathans funniest jokes and quotes Samantha first appeared on 18 May 1985. ", "Samantha was telling us before the show she's been visiting a nice gentleman racehorse owner in his stables recently. I don't think I was meant to read that bit." I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. " Humph In Wonderland " was a Christmas special. 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May He became quite frail towards the end and it was obvious he was frustrated by his own body giving up on him. . He just found certain things funny, and he shared them with people around him whom he hoped would also find them funny. Still, it was during one of those famous comradely Cryer phone calls of which we have all heard so much that the roots of The Clue Bible, my first weighty slab, covering over 50 years of British comedy history, first found soil.Back in the mid-2000s, I was a veteran videogame journalist who in my spare time performed sketches in a double act, and tried to get my children's stories published. ", "As the frisky tomcat of fate confronts the scalpel of destiny, and the precious natural woodland of time meets the motorway extension of eternity", "As the Ford Anglia of time fails the MOT test of eternity, and the dappled donkey of fate ambles toward the abbetoir of destiny", "Well as the delicate mayfly of time collides with the speeding windscreen of fate, and the angry wasp of destiny flies up the trouser leg of despair", "As the loose boweled pigeon to time swoops low over the tourist of destiny, and the unlicensed mini-cab of fate gets lost in the one-way system of eternity", "As the short-sighted rhino of time attempts to mount the VW beetle of eternity, and the rubber glove of hope gets lost in the Aberdeen Angus of destiny", "As the great tit of time nibbles through the gold top of eternity, and the unseen mouse droppings of fate nestle in the Crunchy Fruit and Nut muesli of destiny", "As the rogue purple underpants of time begin their assault on the whites-only wash cycle of destiny, and the twin buttocks of fate are sucked into the malfunctioning chemical toilet of eternity", "As the armpit hair of time is snagged in the ball deodorant of destiny, and the Harpic of eternity spills unseen onto the loo roll of fate", "As the red red robin of time goes bob-bob-bobbing under the snow plough of destiny, and the sage and onion stuffing mixture of fate is rammed up the eternally unfrozen turkey of damnation", "As the grubby raincoat of time opens to reveal the upright Member of Parliament, and the categorical denial of destiny is swiftly followed by the resignation letter of fate", "As the wee-willy-winky of time pops out of the nightgown of eternity", "As the chill wind of time blows up the kilt of destiny, and the short-sighted octopus of fate attempts to mount the bagpipes of eternity", "As the little Jack Horner of time pulls out his plums of fate, and the little Tommy Tucker of destiny looks for a rhyme we can broadcast", "As the plastic cup of time fails to emerge from the vending machine of destiny, and the scalding coffee substitute of fate splashes onto the unsuspecting crotch of eternity", "As the false teeth of time come away in the Granny Smith of destiny, and the Grandpa Smith of fate decides he needs stronger dentifix", "As the 4x4 of destiny on the level crossing of fate, stalls in the path of the speeding freight train of doom, and the signalman of time rushes to fetch his camera", "As the hunter of time blasts the moose of destiny, and as the dairy counter worker of fate grabs the mop of destiny", "Lionel Blair & Christopher Biggins recently appeared on Stars in Their Eyes, where Lionel singing Maggie May came second to his old teammate.