He stammers and scratches his face.]. What? They take shelter behind it. ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] Scout and Miss Pauling look on, amazed, as the dove takes off and flies away. You can teleport bread. The windshield has bullet holes on the left and is completely knocked out on the right. TF2 Heavy Ya-Dadada. It was a gloomy day. No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. ], [A match is lit, revealing Scout and Miss Pauling pressed up against each other in a dark enclosed space.]. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of it. Miss Pauling reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera. Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. ], Scout: Hey, hey Miss Pauling! The Scout reaches the desk to discover the . This was a huge waste of my time. Category:Team Fortress 2 Soundtrack Engineer [The Engineer is sitting in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. Riots in the Teufort areas have grown out of control, and even the United States Army cannot control it. Come on, Spy. The Spy walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]. The Scout tosses the keys. You can teleweport bread. Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. We are going to live forever! [The flute continues to trill in the background. Medic: Vell, let's see. [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. He turns to address the Scout while the Medic steps back.]. It reads 70:00:00. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. 1. His brow wrinkles]. Scout: [taken aback] Right! As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the Spy as he walks away. If not, I gotta kill him. Minusve're not bread. Scout reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but Spy slaps his hand away. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] A dragon having sexual congress with me. Later, the Scout can be seen sitting at the head of a long banquet table. Scout, you [She turns to Scout, then she notices something off-screen.] On June 18th, Redditor ThamosII posted an SFM image of Soldier teleporting bread which received over 1,600 upvotes in /r/tf2[4] in six months (shown below, right). Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]. ], [Scout motions for her to escape to safety. This means none of the mercenaries have tumors, and thus are not going to die. Oh, I am so sowwy Miss Pauling: [Looking up from the wires] God, Scout, what for? Here's the update video https://youtu.be/bIsP-LB2fr8Recommended resolution to watch: 720. [His smile fades and he removes his helmet. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. [Cut to a close-up of the watch. ], [Cut to a right side view of the van. 1. You left seven witnesses, guys. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. Wanna do it? The muscle car is drawn in much greater detail than the Spy who is thrown up into the air, becoming disemboweled with blood spurting everywhere.]. [He raises his paws and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]. [The Demoman confusingly mouths "post-coitus" and the Scout is nearly in tears with laughter.]. ], Miss Pauling: [Briefly glancing over at Scout] Uh-huh. The Soldier attempts to extricate the BLU Demoman's body from the hood of the van. He adjusts his hat and headset with both paws. Look. [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! Scout: Yeah. This page was last edited on 14 October 2022, at 05:41. Engineer and Medic are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing something. Listen now We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter. Engineer: Yeah. Congratulations. [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]. She looks at him quizzically in silence. ], [They back up towards the blast doors as the bread monster lumbers towards them slowly. At 11:31, Scout's right arm clips through Soldier's torso. Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that-- [Miss Pauling spots the watch on Scout's arm] --Oh, oh! On July 1st, 2021, artist TheF1amethr0wer tweeted[6] a This Is Where I Watched My Parents Die, Raphael meme that received over 3,700 retweets and 23,600 likes in three weeks (shown below, right). ], [TRAINING GYM: 2 HOURS TIL DEATH Floodlights come to life, illuminating the Scout, who is sitting in a classroom chair in the middle of a wrestling ring. Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before yaWell. Sowe're both busy. It was released by Valve on October 10, 2007 as the multiplayer component of the Orange Box, which also includes Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Portal. Spy, look at this. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. Give me your watch! Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing. Then they realize. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. The Heavy looks harassed and brings the vehicle to a stop. Ominous bass strings play. At 7:28, when learning to dance, the Scout first performs the. The Soldier attempts to extricate the BLU Demoman's body from the hood of the van. And that always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. ], Engineer: Whoa! During the climax, Miss Pauling is holding a derringer that hasn't made an appearance in any other TF2 media to date. [The bread monster crashes through the door as Scout pulls Miss Pauling out of harm's way. The Sniper tumbles through the gravel briefly before getting back to his feet and taking out his Kukri. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. Um. It is filled with note cards. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. Muffled shots can be heard. He returns the glance awkwardly. As the van drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pops up and a painted curtain background falls into place, disguising the entrance.]. They wordlessly agree to jump into the mouth of the Bread Monster, which they proceed to do in the nick of time. 1. Before you go. ], [The camera pans slowly with the Scout walking left to right from the van to the table. [The Spy's mouth twitches as he stops himself from laughing] So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and- [The Spy taps his watch, voicelessly reminding Scout of the death watch] -Okay, crap, I gotta go [He quickly downs the rest of his drink and begins to walk off-screen, but leans back towards the Spy.] Spy: We have seventy hours to live. It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Engineer: Well yeah. Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! Soldier: Arrghh! Alright. Many beauty products don . Scout: Miss Pauling. [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. The numbers are stamped on and can sometimes be hard to read or find depending on where they were placed. ], Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! The camera slowly pans to the left, revealing the Engineer and Medic with a pair of teleporters set up between them. No. Soldier: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! It spins around in the jar and comes to a stop.] The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. [The bread creature attempts to bite the Medic again as the Soldier leans in for a closer look. ], Spy: See you all in hell. Scout and a busty, blonde haired woman are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. chavara matrimony usa brides With the Demoman on the far right in the foreground grasping his bottle, everyone else is arranged counter-clockwise from him: Pyro, Sniper, Heavy, Scout, Soldier, and Spy on the right foreground. Miss Pauling: Not everybody, Soldier. The Scout, however, is unimpressed.]. He slowly pulled it out filling the room with a long loud moan. Scout: [choked and strained] Not my fault..! [He drops his demeanor and looks dejected. ], [Cut to the Scout back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie out as he holds the chicken. I just said we're not filled with tumors! Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. You know, classy ones. ], [The Spy shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. [Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. Expiration Date also shows that there is still a RED team that is still very focused on defending the RED intelligence, so either it takes place before Gray's rise or the two teams are pitted against each other once again afterwards for some reason. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this [In the background, the Medic hurriedly rushed forward to heal the Pyro, who has been lifted by another tentacle], Miss Pauling: GUYS! A bright flash of light can be seen engulfing the monster, then the screen cuts to black.] Hey that's, that's funny. The Engineer picks up his PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. [He turns abruptly. In all subsequent shots, the Medic's backpack is missing. 2. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. to view the image gallery, Scout, are we having a prom? Scout: Oh thank God. can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled Dating Nice Girls. It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. [toss and giggle] Both of us relaxing post-coitus. The Scout is near breathless with laughter.]. Cut to black. Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. He calls Miss Pauling to the base by pressing the alarm button for the briefcase being stolen. We've been told Expiration Date was hilarious and it definitely didn't disappoi. [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's fluffy chest, who's waiting for her there.]. At 0:40, the sound of Miss Pauling's pistol is identical to the sound of the. Goodbye! Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. To their horror, though, it seems that Soldier's last wish has been to do nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. [The Soldier suddenly grabs the Scout by the neck and slams him onto the table.]. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. You are amazing with ladies. He places the bread on the teleporter, and it disappears in a flash of light. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. [Brief flash over to Spy, whose gaze returns to the monitor.] Screw you, though [He walks by an alarm that's labeled In Case of Briefcase theft, push button. The bread grows teeth and roars at the Medic, who lets out a scream of fear as the bread creature leaps at his throat and latches onto it. Scout: Where it's going is I don't need you. [The Demoman confusingly mouths "post-coitus" and the Scout is nearly in tears with laughter.]. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. Wait! Cut to Scout and Miss Pauling, who are also looking up at the ceiling]. Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. Engineer: That goes for all of ya. It closes its mouth as the bomb explodes. ], [She disappears off-camera. Immediately following the release of the video, the line "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days" gained popularity within the Team Fortress 2 community. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. This painting is a parody of. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. I'm leaving the van now. Yeah-ah. Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes.]. [She points at the hangar they just exited from.] The monster throws Scout at the Demoman, and they both collapse onto the ground. "I Have Done Nothing But Teleport Bread for Three Days" is a line spoken by Soldier in 2014 Team Fortress 2 animated short "Expiration Date." She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with the gun in her hand. This is likely a modeling error, where there is no texture for the flowing liquid and appears black because of the lighting. Scout: Wait. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! ], [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. The Pyro can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the bread monster. Copypasta Scripts of All "Meet the __" Videos. Scout: [unconvincingly] Miss Pauling. Side view of cab with the Scout leaning back resignedly. ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. Exactly! As the Heavy, Scout, and Soldier return from a mission to capture a briefcase, Miss Pauling video calls them to ask how the mission went. The Insult That Made a "Jarate Master" Out of Sniper. [The Soldier suddenly grabs the Scout by the neck and slams him onto the table, because he is a furry.]. [The strings rise to a crescendo while the camera dramatically zooms to the Medic's face. I'm a woman! Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. For more information, please see our Spy: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me. - What's your question, Soldier? Y'all ought to take a look at this. Afterwards, Scout comes to Spy's smoking room to apologize and seek his help. The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. 1!" Scout: Let's go, let's go- [BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier] Heavy: "INCOMING!" [Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. Researcher & Scrapbooker & Commentator, Database Moderator & Historical Meme Historian & Stand User, Digital Archaeologist & Treasurer & Media Maid. Spy: [rolling his eyes as he draws another card] Yes I see. ], [The camera cuts to a shot of Spy and Scout in a classroom setting. You have a dinner date for seven what time do you arrive? The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the Spy pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette. TF2's Expiration Date is a beloved animated short about Scout, Spy, Miss Pauline, Bread, and the rest of the team. before the Engineer interrupts them. The Soldier, confused, counts off: one, two], [He appears in a flash from the idle Teleporter. Scout backs up as one of the tentacles swipes at him. Now would be agood time. The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] (Note: captions read "diner")[He opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster, who lets out a loud roar, all while an epic orchestra plays.]. He eyes it worriedly.]. He then gets grabbed by a tentacle and is yanked into the air. Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. Medic: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Tumors! (Note: caption reads "business"), [Heavy can be seen in the background, checking the fridge's contents. His brow wrinkles], Spy: drawn a picture of me getting vored by a Sergal. Behind him, the Pyro and Spy are holding a bottle of wine and a bucket of chicken. Spy. I got a bucket of chicken Spy: [He slaps the chicken out of Scout's paws.] Scout and a busty, blonde haired fox are standing at a counter with buckets of "Conquistador Fried Giblets" brand chicken drumsticks.]. Now go! Scout grabs a hold of her and yanks her off to one side as the bread monster knocks the bomb around. At 8:17, the Spy produces a beverage from behind his back in his left hand, even though his left hand can be seen holding nothing behind his back at 8:06. The Engineer picks up his PDA and activates the Teleporter; it starts whirring into action. [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. Scout: Seven. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my leg's broken.